Category: Podcast

Denory Bleu podcast

Episode 1 – Intro

This is the very first episode. I’m not sure how long this one will be, but there will be more. Don’t cry little birdies

I feel good, when I feel good I sing. I was just listening to Jason Mraz, and that is a helluva song.

You know, this podcasting thing, its crossed my mind a few times over the last few years, and I’ve always wanted to create one. I guess I just didn’t know what the hell I’d talk about, and if you should know one thing about me, it’s that I’ve always made things more difficult than they should have to be. I’ll take something simple & make it complicated. I’m just too doggone analytical

I know that at the heart of it all, podcasting is just a conversation.

Well no shit Denory, I know that’s what you’re all thinking right now. Seriously though, I really thought podcasting was just for marketing experts, financial analysts, people giving out legal advice, and citrus experts telling you how to care for your grapefruit trees. Shit like that.

But I stand corrected.

Truth is, you can talk about many things, anything, in your podcast. Inject a ton of personality into it. Talk about your day, your experiences, whatever… It’s simple, yes I know

I’d done my research and watched videos, read articles, repeatedly, and what I found out is, it’s all the same advice. “PODCAST that thing you love to do”, but now, the things we love aren’t always the things we do, right?

For instance, you might have a membership to the gym that runs you $40-$50/month, but you may not go twice a day, or every other day, or even twice a week because of the other things you like and love, or just life’s other priorities pulling rank

The problem for me is I’m a jack of all trades-so to say-but a master of none.

But above all that, I just didn’t want to create a boring podcast and only talk about one thing.

However, I’m not saying that specializing in one subject makes a podcast boring at all. I’m only talking about my “jack of all trades” label.

So this past week, I’ve been working on other things. I think the fact I’d taken my mind off of what to podcast about, and not chasing content for each episode, it’s really made the process even easier.

So with that bit of info shared & before we begin I want to tell you guys that the intro music at the start of this and all episodes will always be my own.

And now, enough of that racket. Let’s get busy with nothing.

So right now, it’s around 11pm. I’m not exactly in night owl territory. But that’s when I reach creativity. I think it’s when the kids go to bed

Season 1: Episode 1

Episode 2 – Sneaking Soda

Let me say this here. I provide for my three kids. I give them what they need and what they want, even though they act like they don’t know the difference between the two. Now Cameron is the oldest, that’s my son, he’s fifteen. Lexie/Alexandra is the second oldest. She’s twelve, and finally, the other one.., that’s her name. The Other One. I’m kidding, her name is ZOE. I spell it ZOIE, but her indifferent mother spells it ZOE.

Anyway, this is some funny shit.

My son- well-he only comes out of his room to eat and to ask for money. Oh, and eat some more. Well the other day, he comes out of his cocoon to refuel between hours and hours of PS4, and I’m assuming he must’ve thought I wasn’t home, or I was in the room, but more generally, not in the immediate area to witness his teenager-ism, because I don’t believe he’d be so bold to do what I’m about to tell you all.

Now you may not think it’s a big deal, but when I explain this shit you’ll understand the greater potential of this behavior.

Alright, so I go into the kitchen to load my dinner plate into the dishwasher. I told Cameron to put a power pack in the washer and start the dishes. Well I go back into my room for a quick minute. In that short amount of time, he’d gone into the garage and come back in, and started small talk with me. Now I know he’s up to something now. The trash was still sitting there, full as shit. SO I know he didn’t take the trash out. I didn’t mention it yet. So I let this comedy run it course.

He heads to the bathroom, I’m slightly watching him, and as he turns the corner going into the bathroom, he turns his head back at me. I’m assuming it was to see if I was still there or –in his teenage frame of mind- gone about my goddamn business. But I am still there; with total awareness of this rooster, that is my son.

So I’m sitting there in the kitchen, and I hear the tab break on one of my goddamn 7-ups. I’m certain now, no longer guessing as to what he’s up to.

He’d snuck a can of soda.

The shit was funny to me. I wasn’t gonna bust his ass too much, because it was just that funny.

He comes out the bathroom, without the empty can, and looks at me like I shouldn’t still be sitting in the kitchen….

Season 1: Episode 2

Episode 3 – Coffee

You know I enjoy staying up late, always have; and then to add to it, I still get up around six or seven in the morning. Basically a good five or six hours of sleep is all I need.

But if I get any more than that for any reason, I’m not worth a damn to nobody. But I do it without coffee. I mean I enjoy a solid cup here and there, and I prefer decaf.

My brother calls my kind of coffee bean water.  I just like the aroma more than I do drinking it. But from time to time. I do that on purpose though. Let me tell you why.

One time many years ago, I’d gotten up to get ready for work, and I brewed a very dark dark dark pot of coffee. It was so damn dark, it tasted like I soaked a bag of dirty pennies in it. It was horrendous. Nah, it tasted like ashes.

Seriously, it was bad. I set the brew strength, and went and took a shower. Got out, got dressed, made a couple pieces of toast with sourdough bread, and poured a cup. Then another, then another, and still again, another.

Well, not only did I drink that nasty shit, but I poured the rest of it into this big ass thermos, and left for work.

Man I was WOKE, jack. Singing my ass off, on the way to work. On the interstate next to the carpool lane. 45 miles one way.

Anyhow, I had another cup half way to work by using the cap on the thermos.

When I got off the freeway, I pulled into a Quick Trip store and bought a couple of those Starbucks frap bottles.

Now a few hours later, I’ve been at work for some time now, settled in for that goddamn 8 hours shift, but around noon, I’m sitting there talking to a customer, and I felt like my whole being had shifted…

Season 1: Episode 3

Episode 4 – A Fathers Role

You know I’ve been a hands on father since day one. I am my children’s biggest fan, you understand. We fathers out here – we who’re involved in every facet of our children’s lives –that’s everything from love, discipline, chores, homework, doing hair, buying clothes- know that the job doesn’t have a stop and start time. It’s going to appointments, giving allowances, and rewards.

There isn’t a time clock to punch, or direct deposit, and certainly no promotions. Where we fathers receive payment, is when our children bring home good grades, and understand the rules.

The rules aren’t in place to make them weak, but to show them that they will not grow up wild as weeds.  We teach them right from wrong so that they will know right from wrong and make the effort to stay out of trouble.

Our role is to show them what’s necessary to make good decisions and use solid judgment. We fathers are here to teach them a healthy respect for each other, in and away from home, as well as towards others.

No one else is going to look after our kids but us. Hands on fathers know this one thing: I’ll be damned if another man raises my child or children. This is what we are cemented to.

I mean there’s no way in hell I could stand by and let some other cat raise all that is mine. So this requires much commitment on our parts as fathers.

How the hell can we as fathers be available to our children when we’re out at the bars carrying on like we don’t need to make ourselves available when it matters?

How can we play a vital role if we aren’t around? We’re around because that is what we choose, and is what our kids expect

Season 1: Episode 4

Episode 5 – Approaching Women

People always ask questions about dating. Specifically about how to talk to women, and I’m shocked at how many men don’t know how to hold a simple conversation with a woman.

I’m shocked at how scary some of these men are when it comes to approaching a woman. You can’t even have a conversation with one, if you’re too chicken shit to approach her.

Now I just want to talk to the fellas this episode. Ladies you can listen. I’m going to begin this thing with a broad stroke:

“Talking to women is no different that talking to your boys, except for the content and purpose.” Let’s break that down now.

You’re in a bar, you’re by yourself or with a couple friends, it really doesn’t matter. I’m just trying to clear a path. So you see a nice little something across the way from you, and in your brain, you’ve already decided you’d give her the job. Nah, you want to give her that job.

If you could, you do it right now. Fellas, you know what the hell I’m talking about. I mean you’d go there with her. THAT NIGHT!

But for some damn reason some of you are too scared, nervous, shy, insecure, not drunk enough, whatever to go introduce yourself to her. Whether she’s by herself or with friends, doesn’t matter one bit.

But if she’s there with a seeing eye dog, then you’d be better off closing your tab going home, breaking out the chicken grease and think about Leslie Jones’ legs for a couple minutes.  If you like Leslie Jones. I’m just saying. I’m qualified to make that suggestion, so please don’t send me no emails asking for recommendations.

You gotta support your own habit. Speaking of which, I should probably delete my google history..Donald Trump is in office, and I just don’t feel my browsing history is safe anymore…I said that out loud didn’t I. SHIT!

Season 1: Episode 5

 

Episode 6 – Walk Away

So I heard this story about a woman who wanted her man to fight other men for her. She believed that if her man didn’t fight for her, literally fisticuffs, then he didn’t love her.

You know, that is the most foolish thing I think I have ever heard. If some guy in the bar is making passes at my woman, I will ignore it and see how she handles herself. Most of the time when guys do this, it’s when they’re liquored up and don’t really know any boundaries. So part of the situation is assessing the threat level, no matter how big or small that drunk dude is.

Not every altercation is won physically, sometimes the altercation is won with brains, and understanding that a few words could change some lives or they can de-escalate the situation.

In any case, here’s an example. You and your girl are out and about, and again, some cocky dude walks up interfering with your date. Your girl might feel disrespected and look to you to straighten this guy.

She’s probably looking for a boost to her ego or some shit. So you and this guy get into it.

First of all, you don’t know what this guy knows, and vice versa. So if we run with these variables, somebody might take a loss and end up in the hospital, and now one of you has a legal battle. You’re both hurt and damaged, but whats the condition of the girl? Oh, well shit, she’s fine. She don’t have any bruises, broken bones, bloody face, she’s not facing legal problems either. Not even an overnight stay downtown. It just cant look good. And why? Because your girl wanted you to fight for her honor. If you got your ass handed to you, would she respect you more or less than if you had just taken the high road and took the evening somewhere else?…..

Season 1: Episode 6

Episode 7 – Early Frame

So, a guy wants to know if he should let his girlfriend have sex with her ex. Hmm, where do I begin. Alright, have any of you heard of something called Early Frame?

Let me explain what Early Frame is, if it isn’t the slightest bit obvious. No better yet let me paint the picture, it’ll be better illustrated. This guy’s girlfriend is asking permission to have sex with an ex.. Is it possible that she’s already had sex with the ex?

Is it possible that this isn’t the first session? I think she’s already done the do. Anyhow, if he tells her, “Yeah baby, I trust you. Go and screw you ex,” she’s off the hook so to say, because she’s already done it, so when word gets back to him that she was playing around with the ex, he can’t get mad because they already discussed it, and he approved it.. This is Early Frame.

Now, lets say he denies her request, well the fact that she has the nerve to ask him if she can lay around with the ex, tells me that she’s already been carrying on with the ex. They’ve already been in touch with each other.

Now, the next thing. He really thinks he’s got the keys to her decision making, her choices and her rights and whatever else. This is also part of the illusion, she’s going to do whatever she wants, and if he ‘quote on quote’ approves her then she doesn’t have to slip out the back door, she can walk right out the front door and wave bye to him as she drives off in their new vehicle to go screw the other guy.

How is that a relationship?

Why would any man approve, grant passage, condone, endorse, allow, agree, submit, accept any request like this and then still think they share something exclusive..

Season 1: Episode 7

Episode 8 – Music

Okay, so we all listen to music everyday, right? It’s in everything, its everywhere. You can’t escape it. But then again, why would you want to escape music. It’s there for you. It’s for me. It belongs to the listeners. It’s something we need. There’s pieces of life in every song. In fact, there’s a most beautiful song written by someone you have never heard of. That’s a fact. No one has heard every song ever written in the world. So that’s a fact, too.

Think about this for a second. When you hear a new song being played, what do you do? You either ask who sings that? Whats the name of that song, and if you have the shazaam app, you’ll open it up to sample that song. A better example would be you’re driving home from work and the next song playing on the radio instantly becomes your new favorite jam. Case in point Bruno Mars 24K Magic. You’ve got to be crazy to not love this song. I think I saw on youtube, this song has been played 123/124M times. That’s crazy, It doesn’t have the most prolific lyrics, but the song, the video are a package. It moves you. It’s a party song. You understand. So you turn it up and beat the hell out of that song for the next week. But here’s the more fascinating thing about music. We all have unique experiences towards the same song, its because we equate it to how we’re feeling.

Season 1: Episode 8

 

Episode 10 – Sweat It Out

Alright so, man, I woke up this morning feeling like I was coming down with something. My throat wasn’t right. It felt sore and scratchy. You know what I mean. The morning thing where your head feels cloudy. I realized that I’d left the bedroom window open, and I was sucking in all that cold midnight air. Well, after I got out the shower, it became a normal morning. I didn’t feel like I was getting sick.

But I want to talk about when I do get sick, which only seems to happen twice a year. Been that way my whole life. It’ll happen in June- I’ll get sick for a few days, and in November, like a week before Thanksgiving. Never fails.

Now, I notice that many people will just lay down when they get sick. I mean they don’t do anything about it, other than take Tylenol cold medicine or Nyquil/Dayquil combination. And that’s it. Eat some soup, just marinate in that situation and let that bug run its course. I think that’s just ridiculous.

I’ve always rested for a day once the flu bug has set up shop and gave me all the business. I’ll actually rest for one whole day. I won’t do anything. I mean, I’ll make myself eat something and drink a bunch of water. But on the second day, I’m up taking sheets off beds, spraying disinfectant, scrubbing everything, doing whatever laundry there is to do. Wiping stuff down; you know remotes, light switches, fridge handles, faucets, door handles, microwave buttons, phone chargers cabinets, the backs of chairs, house phones, cellphones, drawstrings to the blinds, countertops, toilet handles…you get my point. Everything that gets use, video game controllers, anything.

But I also take a vitamin or two. The main one is Zinc, yeah I like Vitamin C, too. But I’ll take a Zinc tablet once a day for a couple days. But I’ve also taken Cod Liver Oil gelcaps for years. Even if I get whatever the kids bring home from school, it’s really just feels like a 24hr bug or a passing allergy. However they’ll go through the motions. I mean whatever they came into contact at school hangs onto their asses for like a week. And check this out, I’ll be around them, might accidentally drink from one of their used cups, not realizing that “oh shit, one of you just drank from this cup.” These kids will breathe on me and everything, but I don’t get much more than a quick stuffy nose…and I’m wondering if it’s just a bit of pollen in the air. Its interesting stuff because I’m so hands on with them, that they can’t figure out how I don’t get sick, too.

With that said, I’m not big on over the counter medicines. I’m not knocking them, I just prefer alternatives. Even with a rare headache I’ll just ride it out and drink alot of water.

That’s just me though. I don’t want you guys to email me asking what the benefits of some other vitamin or spice is, because I’m no holistic treatment provider or otherwise, I’m only speaking about me.

SO I would tell you guys, if you have it in yourselves, when you’ve fallen under the weather next time, to rest for a while, then get on your feet, take a shower and clean house, and don’t forget your zinc and cod liver oil.

Episode 11 – Closet Door

Have I told you guys that this shit is random? This whole podcast thing. Have I told you guys that it’s all random? We’re just hanging, talking about stuff. Then why are ya’ll acting like it isn’t? I talk about everything.

Anyway, I’m gonna share something with you guys. Don’t laugh at me. This is serious beans right here. Ya’ll know I’m recording this episode during the day, with the windows open, YES! And all the lights on, right? Well of course you wouldn’t know that, it’s just a figure of speech, man. C’mon.

But seriously, I have to do this episode by the daylight. I don’t even like the TV being off, it’s too quiet. I hate silence, it’s too loud.

Let me ask a question. How many of you guys sleep with the closet door open?

How many of you guys sleep with all the lights out? I mean every goddamn light in the house is off.

It’s just you and the fabric of night.  How many of you can handle that much darkness and that much silence?

Well look here. I have a most active imagination ever. The most ridiculous thoughts occur to me.

How many of you sleep in total darkness, the closet door open, and your bedroom door closed?

If someone gave me a million dollars to sleep in a dark house, no sound and the closet door wide open, I would honestly turn that shit down. I just cannot deal with those variables.

Oh, how many of ya’ll sleep on your backs?

See let me explain something. I cannot sleep on my back. I feel too vulnerable. And let me tell you why; I might just wake up in the middle of the night, on my back. I’ll open my eyes, and some will be right there in my face smiling like a motherfucker at me. Now, if my bedroom door is locked, how the fuck am I gonna be able to get out of there QUICKLY, if I first gotta unlock the damn thing. First of all, I wouldn’t be thinking, all my thinking faculties will have been forgotten. I’m trying to get out of a door that doesn’t seem to unlock and all off my sensibilities gone.

This is why I don’t like my bedroom door closed. Well hold on, not for the reason, I just like it to be open. My closet door cannot-and I repeat-my closet door cannot be open when I go to bed.

But let’s be logical, that closet door ain’t holding shit back, right. I mean think about it. Something that’s been here for thousands of years…do I really think that it’s going to think, “Damn, he closed the closet, we can’t get him now”, hell no, but it’s a mechanism of safety for me.

For those of you who sleep with no hall light on, what is your problem. WHY?

Anyway, I know I’ve watched too many scary movies, and I know that there are probably a dozen people in that room filming that scene. So why in the hell am I tripping about what I’m seeing on TV when the whole scene is actors, directors, light boys, and bestboy grips…you know, all the people in the credits.

I will tell you it’s because I internalize those scenes. I think holy shit, I got to get the hell out of here, and behind me would be a wall that’s cut out like the cartoons because I ran through the motherfucker.

Episode 12 – Interested

You know, you’d think that in this day and time-with all the available technology-men and women would and should be able to communicate a little better. This episode is intended for the Millenial women, but is a unisex discussion, it applies to men as well because this issue I’m going to talk about isn’t just about women, its just who I’m talking about mainly. Now, some of us men act like we can’t discern the interested eye of a woman.

For men, this is completely different than choosing not to fall into the subtleties of an interested woman. This here is about catching up and getting with the program, so to say. Alright, I get a message from a girl who wants to know is this guy is just being nice or if he’s interested in her?”

Okay, so the rude and unfeeling response is or would be to ‘just fucking ask him’

The more patient and compassionate answer is a little more in depth.

So let us scratch off the rude and unfeeling response and look at some of the cues this guy is emitting that should assist this woman in uncovering the greatest mystery of her life, thus far. Provided he’s straight and only likes women.

She should first consider the fact that the two of them have been texting for months. She should also consider the fact that he texts her every day at the top of the day and at the bottom of the day.

She should also consider the fact that she can call him, and he will listen to whatever the hell she’s telling him. She might talk his ears off, but he’s made time for whatever’s on her mind.

It’s really not that hard to see he’s interested in her, right?  They’ve solidified a strong dialog. Hell yeah he’s interested in her. How can she not be confident and aware of that?

The problem is that women like this – there are millions of these poor souls- don’t ask ask these guys any questions, like what kind of girl are you into or maybe, What type of girl attracts you. These women aren’t confused, they’re just scared of making an assumption. But again, there’s nothing to assume here. He’s showing her all the signs of interest. Again, provided he’s straight.

Women, you millenials, the best way to find out, is to go find out. Ask him to lunch or dinner…go get ice cream. Keep it simple.

Now on the flipside, although it sounds like he’s interested, have you considered the fact that he maybe he isn’t sure if you are? Ladies, you guys aren’t always as obvious about how you feel as you think you are.

Episode 13 – Father’s Daughter

So check this out, I was reading an email from a parent whose daughter came home from college one day and told him he’s a male oppressor. Apparently the daughter is taking gender studies. So the father wants to know if he should stop paying her college tuition. I’m going to venture out on a limb and say he got mad at her without first asking her to explain why she feels this way.

I mean I get his first inclination, but this is his daughter either way and the fact that he’s paying her college tuition means he cares about her, he loves her, and he’s fully invested in her life. My question is, what career is she going to lock down with the indoctrination she’ll acquire? If that were my daughter I’d feel she’s being rude, disrespectful and in a very short time-extremely obnoxious. Oh and let me add “ungrateful”.

Now, I’m thinking maybe she should get a humbling job and then maybe, just maybe, she’ll rethink her degree path and get serious

But on the flipside, even though she’s acting an ass, it might not be practical to punish her by terming her tuition. She’s coming into a whole new world-kind of like Aladdin.  I told him maybe he shouldn’t get upset at her, rather, try not to just because she walked in the door with some bullshit perspective she just picked up at some institution. I mean isn’t she thankful that he brought this far?

Episode 14 – Colleagues

So this girl and her married colleague have gone out for drinks/dinner several times. She wants to know if he, the married colleague is interested in her, even though she their conversations are mostly business. Well first of all, what exactly is MOSTLY? How do you define MOSTLY? And how many dinners do you gotta have to discuss business?

Now my answer is assuming she’s inquiring for an obvious reason, right? Is she game?What do you guys think? I’m gonna go with a YES on this. But before I break all that down I want to say this. Why would she care if he, the married colleague, is interested in her? Does she want to fool around with a married man, whom she also works with? How often does that kind of relationship end well? Where does she think this adventure is going to go?

This is an office romance that’s probably exciting for them both.  She’s going along for the appetizers and a few drinks from time to time, and knowing he’s married tells me she’s just enjoying the adventure.  But then and in theory, she might want what she can’t have. Again, I say in theory.

They can fool around with each other and share a secret no one else knows, and spend lots of time at happy hour inside of weird and cozy places. He can enjoy the spark of another woman and still be home where his wife is waiting for him, and likely not suspecting anything…yet. Until he develops a pattern of ‘working late’.

Im not going to say she’s a homewrecker, he’s the homewrecker, and doing a fine job in secret.. Maybe she should have a moral responsibility. Maybe not. What about his moral responsibility? Where’s the fault line? Under her feet or under his?

Episode 15 – Unique Meals

This guy said that the most unique meal that he ever had was his wife & daughter’s placenta. He went so far as to say it was…grilled… to perfection.

Gross. What’d he do soak it in Caribbean jerk chicken marinade overnight?

He said it tasted like grilled meat with creamy sauce.

What like an Alfredo sauce….Basil, Pesto?

Um, can I order the wife and daughter placenta combo with refried beans, baby carrots, and an apple juice. Sheesh..as if there isn’t already enough junk food every quarter mile in the country Please don’t tell me it tasted like smoked grilled chicken…I happen to like smoked grilled chicken

Some cultures, and many animals eat the placenta, and apparently its pretty common here. The hippies like to have it dried and made into pills that the new mother takes to regulate post-partum hormones.

Well this same guy said that he and his wife just put it in a plastic bag took it home and grilled it.

Hmm, I wonder what the aroma was like, and if there was a breeze in their HOA neighborhood.

Maybe add some Jack Daniels wood chips.

So he said that as he was grilling his human food. Literally spoken, and his neighbor walked by and asked what he was preparing. Said he’d never seen meat shaped like a whoopee cushion.

Yeah, what part of the animal is that..

Let’s see, he said he didn’t tell him but offered him a bite, but before the neighbor could eat it he knocked it out of his hand, saying he couldn’t let him do it.

Yeah, what was he thinking, he cant let another man taste his wife..this man is possessive…

At any rate, the husband said he and his wife didn’t eat the whole thing, just a few bites.

Well that type of dining is not for me.  But I did watch a youtube video, and I gotta tell you, throughout the whole video, my eyes were bulging and poking out of head. It was a spectacle.

Episode 16 – Not the Father

A woman writes, I love my husband, but our kids aren’t his, (wow, shouldn’t she be saying ‘my kids aren’t his). We’ve been married fifteen years, and the kids are eleven and twelve years old.

He’s not their father, and worst part of it all, he doesn’t know it. I married him early and realized I didn’t like domestication, and so I had sex with many other men. I love my man but if I tell him, I’m scared he’ll leave me and the kids emotionally and financially. Any suggestions? (well he should leave your ass. Lady, do you think this is a game? Do you think he’ll magically get those 12 years of his life back? Because you’re thinking about being honest now) I’m not saying he hasn’t enjoyed raising those kids, I’m sure he has. What I’m saying is, what the hell is your problem?

To all you ladies out there, do you know what a man’s worst nightmare is? It’s that shit right there.

There’s more though. Some years later she got DNA tests to confirm that those kids absolutely weren’t his.

Give me a second you guys…and pardon my language.. what a bitch. This is a perfect example of bad character. This is a perfect example of the few, ruining the bunch

Shame on this lady. She’s made a terrible choice, some horrible decisions, Oh, It’s going to shatter some beliefs. It’s going to shatter the foundation of what love and trust is to him.

It’s going to start a life-long quest to find out some truths. She’s earned herself the obligation to tell these kids the truth.  WHO IN THE HELL IS or ARE THEIR FATHERS?

She says she loves her husband. I’m certain this isn’t any of that. She admits to flinging everytime her husband leaves the house. I really try not to judge people, but this shit kills that effort. Oh My God!

This woman should know her husband will not be calm. He is not going to be cool with this shit. He will not hold her hand and say, “It’s okay, honey. You’re just human. It happens.”

He’s not going to do any of that.  She should expect nothing less than solid gold emotion. This here is such a life changer. If he leaves it does nothing useful. The kids have benefited from this lie, though it wasn’t their fault, she’s benefited, too… because she’s scared his finances won’t be available to her if he does.

You know, I just realized something. If he is the named father on the birth certificates then he’s obligated to pay her child support, even though she lied.

Episode 17 – Ladies

Ladies, I need yours ears right now. If your man falls asleep during sex, this does not mean he’s fallen out of love with you. Nor does it mean he’s losing interest. What this means is well, maybe he’s tired. Maybe you guys went out and had too many drinks and now he can’t get it up to roto your rooter. Why must you women think it’s some cause for concern. Why do you think the most extreme of possibilities. The man is tired, drunk, or tired and drunk.

My belief is that if a man isn’t attracted to you, there’s no way the two of you will ever make it to the fitted sheet. So whenever it should happen, or again, let that man go to sleep. The fact that he was tired in the first place, but then tried to satisfy you as much as possible, should be enough for you to not give him a hard time about. Leave his ass alone with that mess. He made the effort. Seriously, he made the effort to have sex. What man in this world will turn down sex with the person he wants it with? You guys need to be a lot more logical about this stuff here. Everything doesn’t have to revolve around an emotion.

Now on the other hand, if he’s trying to go for that second wave of sensation then he might fall asleep before he ever reaches it. That second one is hard to reach, baby. and that might be the one that knocks him out. So if we run with this possibility, what the hell are you complaining about? He already gave you the business, now he’s just trying to reach legend status.

Episode 18 – Gentlemen

Gentlemen gentlemen gentlemen..what’s going on fellas.

Relationships are a serious thing right? I mean two people mutually love each other. They grow and nurture their dynamic. They hit milestones, they make room for each other. They may come from vastly different backgrounds, which on one hand might make things difficult but ultimately they make the effort to strengthen what they feel for each other.

Let’s say you and a girl have been in a relationship with each other for at least a solid year. What the hell lets make it five years for impact. Then one day, she calls or texts, comes over, or you go over to her place, or any number of variations, hell, how about the two of live together…and she tells you that she just doesn’t want to be in that relationship anymore. What do you do? What do you say?

Do you say screw it and let her go? Or do you pursue her like you just can’t stand the pain?

Let’s lay one thing out right now.. Remember I said, “then one day she calls…” So if we take that slice of information and understand that everything as far as you know was fine between the two of you up until then, then what we are looking at is a pretty basic change of heart, right?

My grandfather told me once, that to get over one girl, you must get under another one. Because the new girl will get that other off your mind. He was an ole school, whiskey drinkin’ deuce and a quarter driving, down home blues music kinda of dude. He rolled his own cigarettes. Kept his two dollar whiskey in the cuff of his jeans, and ate seasoned liver in one hand, half of a white onion in the other and between his legs was a loaf of white bread . Some of the most disgusting stuff ever.

Episode 19 – Black men White women

I was doing some laundry this morning and while I was standing there waiting for the last two minutes of the wash cycle to finish, I was reading an article on black men and white women. One of the commenters at the bottom of article explained their point of view. Basically it read..because black men are tired of Black women.

That was the very first line.. LIKE DAMN, OKAY.

And then the commenter said black women have too much attitude, and too much pride. And then added, because they’re loud, ghetto, liars, manipulative, argumentative, spiteful, and just rude.

The commenter further says that even though she’s black, and while physically attracted to Black men, she finds herself attracted to White men on a deeper level– physically AND emotionally—which she says is a completely new territory for her.

For a black woman this certainly breaks stereotypes… It used to be that black women would never date anything but black men, as though it was a bad idea all the way around.

Next she says the men she’s met in her life who have made the greatest impression on her in the most positive way,  just happened to have been White.

And that there is my whole thing. Be with someone who means well and does well, as a person.

Do you believe that it was a black woman commenting?

This is huge. Let me tell you why. I’ve always dated white women. Never cared a damn drop what black women felt about it. Oh this is gonna be good… For the longest time, I got those choice looks from black women, and sometimes I could hear them talking as we walked by.

In fact, I was out at a shoe store with my son, he was all of one or two years old. He was knocked out in the stroller. Well while I was trying on shoes for the both of us, my son and I, a group of about five or six black women walked in. They saw me, and saw me with this stroller with this baby sleep inside of it. Then walk up, like they know me, looking all in the stroller, and one of them said the most stupidest shit. “Uh uh, girl ya’ll know that aint his baby. Dat baby too light skinned.” I almost cussed their asses out..but I kept my cool.

The take away from that was the fact that I was a brotha that stepped outside of my race. Let me say this…date whoever the hell you want to date

Episode 20 – What A Man Likes

We are anywhere and everywhere in this episode..

Let me be the first to say, that yes..I do like a woman with some meat on her bones..never ever too much meat for my potatoes

I’m going to say we men like to see women in heels purely for anatomical reasons. Everyone loves a nice view. When the view is of a woman its her chest, her butt, her thighs, when she’s in heels it’s her leg and thigh muscles. Whether she’s a slim girl, bbw, or she’s a thick girl. There’s a type of woman for every man, and if she’s wearing heels, she’s pulling eyeballs out of sockets. If I even hear the sound of heels, my head turns like the exorcist. There was a research study done on this, because everything needs to be goddamn study right?

Anyway whatever, one researcher studied the changes high heels made to a woman’s stride. So apparently we need a researcher to see that heels alter a woman’s stride length and also to see that heels increase the pelvic tilt and hip rotation. Well if that woman wears Nike’s one day, then high heels the next, any man is going to notice her ass, hips, and thighs that much more. Men don’t need this researcher to tell us what differences we notice. The second we see that woman wearing heels, we start imagining positions being rolled out.

And yes, heels increase a woman’s attractiveness. Is it any surprise that men like their women wearing high heels for that extra kinky business.. HELL NO.