Episode 2 – Sneaking Soda

Let me say this here. I provide for my three kids. I give them what they need and what they want, even though they act like they don’t know the difference between the two. Now Cameron is the oldest, that’s my son, he’s fifteen. Lexie/Alexandra is the second oldest. She’s twelve, and finally, the other one.., that’s her name. The Other One. I’m kidding, her name is ZOE. I spell it ZOIE, but her indifferent mother spells it ZOE.

Anyway, this is some funny shit.

My son- well-he only comes out of his room to eat and to ask for money. Oh, and eat some more. Well the other day, he comes out of his cocoon to refuel between hours and hours of PS4, and I’m assuming he must’ve thought I wasn’t home, or I was in the room, but more generally, not in the immediate area to witness his teenager-ism, because I don’t believe he’d be so bold to do what I’m about to tell you all.

Now you may not think it’s a big deal, but when I explain this shit you’ll understand the greater potential of this behavior.

Alright, so I go into the kitchen to load my dinner plate into the dishwasher. I told Cameron to put a power pack in the washer and start the dishes. Well I go back into my room for a quick minute. In that short amount of time, he’d gone into the garage and come back in, and started small talk with me. Now I know he’s up to something now. The trash was still sitting there, full as shit. SO I know he didn’t take the trash out. I didn’t mention it yet. So I let this comedy run it course.

He heads to the bathroom, I’m slightly watching him, and as he turns the corner going into the bathroom, he turns his head back at me. I’m assuming it was to see if I was still there or –in his teenage frame of mind- gone about my goddamn business. But I am still there; with total awareness of this rooster, that is my son.

So I’m sitting there in the kitchen, and I hear the tab break on one of my goddamn 7-ups. I’m certain now, no longer guessing as to what he’s up to.

He’d snuck a can of soda.

The shit was funny to me. I wasn’t gonna bust his ass too much, because it was just that funny.

He comes out the bathroom, without the empty can, and looks at me like I shouldn’t still be sitting in the kitchen….

Season 1: Episode 2

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